You'll Find Yourself

You'll find yourself. Its definite.
Its my glimpse before our union.

You'll find yourself. Its love.
Love from where you belong.

You'll find yourself. Its subconscious.
When you follow your lead.

None others but US. One.

Bukan Diriku

huh!! the whole day really tiring...keje keje keje .

but that is not wat i wanted to talk about. i want to talk myself that really are indecisive. arrghhh i am angry with myself actually. over the years, i am a very determined person who know what i want and what i dont. but right now, i am feeling very bad over myself. i dont know where gone myself esteem that really drowning me...shit la!!

i have been fighting over years for my feelings. and right at this point of time, do i really want to let go?? i thought that i am strong enough for this for which i am not...damn it !! maybe, it is too much already to think about this thing this far....i am suppose to decide and not considering yer or no. but heck, i just cant....what is wrong with me actually ha???

ish, some people say....go for man who loves you. but looking at that point, what am i suppose to do with it if i dont have feeling for him? what about my feeling?? i want to share with someone who has the same feelings with me!!! that is all i want....coz to me sharing life isnt about having physical contact all through the nites. it is about being contented in comforting each other. to complement each other in every aspects. someone who you can share you story with. but, unfortunately the one i find is not having the same horizon view with me. i just dunno how to tell la anymore since it is so bloody freaking out!!!!

i am not sure until this moment. but somebody really pushing me to make decision. it is because the only thing that can make things move on is by making the first step that is decision making. so bad that i am just not determine as i am before. for this, it is really killing me softly la wei.....

ouch!! people would say that i am stupid. i might have putting my pride and dignity at stake. but you all are not in my position that i just cant. that said.

another question pop up....until when??? yea thats the gud one. thats why i said its killing me softly that over time, i might change to someone that very self defensive, selfish, temperamental, crazy or maybe i just become bloody damn stupid person in this whole world to let myself being taken advantage of.

"for i know, i only love one. i only want one. and i only keep that one deep inside till death do us apart"

mymyselfkaTe | stillgotthebluesforyou

Mi vida es sólo para ti. Mi corazón es siempre suya

I am listening to Rockwell; Knife repeatedly. Sigh.

I tried and tried hiding up the pain I feel inside....pretending to fool folks around me that I am ok which I am not; at all. Yo no sé por qué hasta ahora todavía no puedo dejarlo ir. Tampoco dejé que mi corazón abierto para ser compartida. Todo intento de distinguir pondré sobre ti.

You know I won't hold you back now...our love just can't be found. Praise to God that the love will remains 'there' till the end even if we're apart no matter how far. It is not the matter of distance coz the thoughts that always count.

It hurts and pain when I have to live forever reminiscing all the sweet memoirs whilst knowing and feeling it fades away day by day. Notwithstanding, I will keep reminiscing and bear the pain coz I believe that love is not blind. Love sees but doesn't mind.

Say that I am a fool. And I don't care being fool because of love. Because I always love you.


p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | Tiada Dia menjadikan manusia sia-sia selain memujiNya.

Indesribable...contradiction feelings

My head tells me to give up but my heart keeps pounding and beating presto.


Wits end. Endurance? Decelerate....sigh.



p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | I'm sick!!! Sick of torn apart.

Am back...

Last few days I was thinking to write my journal. But then, I was trying to find words to what should I write. Hmmm (thinking) eyes rolling.

Summarily, I had 2 hectic days at North Port, Klang. Was there since afternoon waiting for cars clearance from customs. End up I was there till midnight ensuring all cars safely loaded onto trailers and delivered to the destination. Pheewwww...!!!!

However, Wednesday was tougher. It starts like the day before but end a 'lil' bit later at 5 a.m. Where I and my boss have to run over to our trailer driver at 3 a.m at Shah Alam due to fuel problem. The driver should load 8 units of Proton's new car to be delivered to Johor Bahru...but unfortunate that 2 of the cars' fuel is empty. To go or not to go....we were discussing. But if don't go, who will then?

I don't know why I post this story this time. Maybe, I just want to just find a lil time to recuperate but I don't know when. Just came back from Klang actually. I am finding time to chill for myself. Its been too long I haven't read nor pamper myself whilst lay still like broccoli in front of TV. Notwithstanding, I keep thinking and my mind keep refreshing of what is the next trip, load, how many cars, where is the delivery avenue etc. So tell me when I will have the time?


Perhaps, I could spend a weekend with kids next week....again, perhaps. Abang & baby; Imisualready.


p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | ...tell me if my escapism means would help?

......

Aku tak tau apa yang aku sedang rasa time ni. Kejap rasa ok kejap tak ok; yang mana satu pun aku tak tau...

Sejak akhir-akhir ini, sebenarnya aku banyak terasa rindu. Bila dikenangkan, tak tertanggung rasanya rinduku ini. Apakan daya ku, aku sering ketiadaan waktu. Walaupun itu hanya alasan, aku tau aku tak patut cakap macam tu. Tapi aku nak cakap jugak sebab aku tak tau nak bagi alasan apa lagi.

Bila rindu itu datang, berat dada aku rasakan. Semakin perlahan jantungku berdegup. Aku juga bertanya-tanya, adakah hanya aku yang merasa begini atau kita sama-sama merasa? Atau mungkin hanya aku yang masih menaruh harapan.....

imisualready!

Kadang-kadang aku marah diri aku sendiri. Kenapa perlu aku ikutkan perasaan hati aku ni. Tapi, apa salahnya kalau aku mahu terus menyimpan perasaan dan merasakan rindu aku ini? Ah....persetan dengan semua kata-kata liar dan tohmahan. Peduli apa aku. Korang cakap la apa pun...ada aku kisah?

Secara luarannya, memang tidak ada yang perasan bahwa aku sedang rindu. Tapi hanya AKU yang tahu betapa dalamnya rindu aku ni....betapa rapuhnya hatiku ini....betapa aku sedang terseksa. Aku tahu aku tak boleh nak salahkan sesiapa....kerana ini adalah pilihan jalanku. Tapi aku tahu....bahawa dia juga sedang merindukan aku.

iloveyoustill!

Aku akan kembali. Pulang membawa kemenangan (dialog Tiga Abdul).




Tunggu aku.

I Wish You Were Here

Birds chirping and wind blows
Soothing and peaceful
The gift from history
So you can breath

Its not dream but reality
Wash away sad but joy
Breath in deeply eyes close
So you know its God's gift

So be calm and cherished
For a lost friend has return
For the adore avail
Such a wonderful gift


p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | I need you like I've never needed anyone beHOLD...

Note

Blues Sunday

Tired.

Best activity of the day is sleep and dream. However, my sleep was interrupted by an anonymous text message. Ughh....

"Salam. Sihat?"
"W'salam. Siapa ni?"
"mmm..Bfren lama pun dah tak ingat dah ni hehe"
"agak2 la"

I get annoyed. I tied to continue sleeping but it wasn't as I thought. Coz my mind still thinking who was sending message to me earlier....was it wrong number or it is by someone that I know. Hmmm....never mind. I just let it go when my eyes slowly close and I continue sleeping.

Not that long, my phone rings...arrghhhh..another interruption.

Notwithstanding, I get excited when I hear the voice and asking if I still remember. Never that I had in mind that the voice owner would have called me today or ever. I get astonished that I thought I will never hear from him again.

Thank you God.

"Hi, how are you?"
"Good. I am good."

And I will be good and never felt better...



p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | my heart pounding dreamin' of you..

Feelings

FEELINGS

It's so indescribable
Earlier today...
I felt everything associated with the good ones
Now...
I felt everything associated with the no good ones

I asked myself
Why does human changes their behavior in split second?
Why they can show love and simply with ignorance?
Aren't we suppose to find joy in our life?
Aren't we suppose to bring joys to others?

I don't know how to answer
I can't explain
It's so amicably mystery
For only God knows
For that I want to enjoy all the feelings
Regardless good and no good
So I understand and cherish God's love
For I am your slave
And your wish is my command

p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | ..tapi kupercaya semua telah tertulis....dan niat suci ku takkan disiakan.

Mencari Jalan Yang Lurus

Sudah terlalu banyak simpang
Sudah terlalu jauh perjalanan
Sudah terlalu gelap penglihatan

Mencari jalan yang lurus
Mencari jalan penyudah
Mencari jalan yang satu

Tapi semua usaha takkan menjadi....

Jika dusta beraja di hati
Jika ketidakjujuran teman sejati
Jika pembohongan tidak berhenti

Hakikatnya...

Bila hati bersih dan suci
Bila hati ihklas dan jujur
Jalan yang lurus pasti menanti


p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | Aku hilang dalam terang

Promo Promo Promo

I have added web search bar to facilitate readers while reading/browsing my page. Enjoy reading!

Hanya kau Bisa Mengerti

kerana kau terlalu istimewa; ku serahkan segalanya
kerana kau sangat kusayang; ku korbankan segalanya
kerana kau sangat ku kasih; ku ingin hidup denganmu
istimewanya dirimu kerana melengkapkan diriku
sayangnya aku padamu kerana menjadikan aku setia
kasihnya aku padamu kerana hanya kau bisa mengerti
semuanya kerana kau adalah ciptaan terhebat untuk diriku

pengertian kasih dan sayangku padamu tak bisa ku huraikan
biar saja kau lihat bila kau lihat mataku
biar saja kau rasa bila kau lihat kalbuku
biar saja kau tahu bila kau memahaminya

namun
saat ini tak lagi ku rasa kau ada
saat ini tak lagi ku rasa kau mengerti
saat ini tak lagi ku rasa kau rasa
betapa jauh ku rasa walau kau hadir depan mata
betapa sepi ku rasa walau kau masih di sini
betapa sunyi ku rasa walau ku dengar gurau sendamu
kerana aku tak tahu bagaimana perasaanmu
kerana aku tak tahu apa yang kau mau
kerana aku tak tahu apakah kau rasa apa yang ku rasa

walau seribu benci di hatimu aku tetap sayang padamu
walau seibu ragu di hatimu aku tetap percaya padamu
walau seribu sangsi di hatimu aku tetap selalu setia padamu
semakin kau jauh dariku semakin dekat kau di hatiku
semakin kau melupakanku semakin aku rindu padamu
semakin kau membenciku semakin kuat kasihku padamu
kerana aku tahu dihatiku hanya kamu
kerana kau dewa hatiku
kau ciptaan terhebat untukku

p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | I still got the blues for you

The Profound Sound

"What is the profound sound?"

Every time we hear it (customarily we never realize when we hear it); its a glimpse of heaven, I think. Naturally we associate bore to being alone. But how many of us enjoy the silence of being alone?

Have we asked ourselves whether have we found joy in our life? Or brings joy to other people life regardless who they are. Why feel ashamed to admit we never have one? Why refuse to admit?

At times, when we think that we had joy, we forgot to thanked the almighty. Vice versa, only plea him to listen to our grievances. But we never feel ashamed to do that because we know that he always listen and the great magnanimous.

Let us pray our gratitude for being able to live our life to the fullest; even if we sometimes fail to realize the tiny little moments that just fly and fail to embrace the opportunity given. Let us sorry ourselves. No matter what, flush away the blame and remorse for us human make mistakes. Analyze and reform to a greater degree so that we can really feel the joy and content.

I wish, I will hear it one day....the whisper of the profound sound. The sounds of God.


p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | Shower me your love.

Ada Apa Dengan Cinta??

"my love is UNconditional"

p/s: KisahCintaKlasik | kepadamu kekasih aku berserah

.....

Anyway, few days back, I was having trouble mending my heart. But now still, trying to let it go.


The metaphor of love, I concluded.

I realize that every second of my breath, myself is put to test. But still, I can't deny that the test is the real reason why I am still alive. Maybe to someone, I am ungrateful. But I don't give a shit to whatever you're thinking now. only me know myself.

I am seeking continual learning thru life but to certain 'people' I am no worthy. Nevermind....For every detestation, I thanked God for making me even stronger and wiser. For every challenge, lies an opportunity.

I admit that I been sad for too long. I have been asking why and why and why....

But, to my acumen, I have just to be myself and trust myself. Thank God for the wisdom.

Akan Kutunggu

Ketika angin menyapa
Aku melayang disapa bayunya
Ketika hujan singgah
Aku kedinginan dibalut saljunya
Ketika matahari senyum
Aku kehangatan dipanah sinarnya
Ketika alam menyeru
Aku tersenyum dikhabar beritanya
Ketika kau makrifatku
Aku terfana dengan nikmatnya
Akan ku kutunggu...

Bila rasaku ini rasamu

Sayang Sayang

Masa ku teringat akan dirimu
Ada sesuatu begitu mengganggu
Diam-diam aku menyukaimu
Bermimpi bila kau jadi milikku
Jauh di dasar hatiku ingin ku teriak
Aku cinta kamu

Sayang, sayang-sayang
Kamu dah berpunya
Tertutup sudah bagiku kesempatan
Dan bukan gayaku
Rebut pacar orang
Meski hati tulus cerita berakhir tak senang

Aku tahu akan sulit bagiku
Mencari-cari pengganti dirimu
Tapi bagi lelaki macam aku
Tak mau berakhir kerna begitu

Jauh di dasar hatiku ingin ku teriak
Aku cinta kamu
Sayang, sayang-sayang
Kamu dah berpunya
Tertutup sudah bagiku kesempatan
Dan bukan gayaku
Rebut pacar orang
Meski hati tulus cerita berakhir tak senang

Tak mungkin, tak mungkin
Aku menyerah hanya kerna tak dapatkan kamu
Meski jauh di dasar hatiku ingin ku teriak
Aku cinta kamu

Sayang, sayang-sayang
Kamu dah berpunya
Tertutup sudah bagiku kesempatan
Dan bukan gayaku
Rebut pacar orang
Meski hati tulus cerita berakhir tak senang

by Alif Aziz

I was lepak'ing' at home...tiba-tiba lagu ni terngian di telinga. Ish bila layan macam best jer lagu ni tapi bila dianalyze balik liriknya macam arrghhhh...was it a sign??

Kenapa tiba-tiba aku rasa macam tak best pulak lagu ni. Mungkin sebab lagu ni macam bargi warning plak hehehe.

Seringkali kita terdengar akan kisah yang seperti dalam lagu ini. Dan kebanyakannya tidak seronok. Tapi disebalik kejadian seperti ini, kita sering terlupa berfikir mengapa ia harus terjadi seperti itu.

Mengapa harus kita menyalahkan takdir bahawa ianya berlaku? Sedangkan, semasa merasa kebahagiaannya kita lupa tapi kita bersungut bila masalah mendatang. Kenapa kita tidak memikirkan kebaikan dan keburukannya sebelum membuat keputusan? Atau adakah kita sedar, siapakah diri kita untuk menyalahkan keadaan atau sering diterjemahkan sebagai takdir? Kenapa? Kenapa? Kenapa? Terlalu banyak persoalan.....

Dalam asyik kita bertanya dan menyalahkan keadaan, kita tidak sedar dan lupa untuk bersyukur. Lupa bahawa kita diberi kesempatan untuk merasai, melalui serta memahami apa yang sedang berlaku...Tiada salahnya bila kita merasa apa yang kita rasa. Kerana bagiku, hanya kita yang tahu rasa/perasaan itu bila kita merasainya. Kerana apa sahaja yang kita rasa adalah satu nikmat yang tidak terhingga waima kita sedang berasa sakit, pedih, pilu, sebal, bengang, marah atau yang sekutu dengannya.

Jadi, nikmatilah apa yang kita rasa sementara kita boleh merasainya.

P/s: Love is not blind, love sees but doesn't mind.

Meet Cute

When you meet an Angel
You feel euphoria
When you meet an Angel
You let loose everything
When you meet an Angel
You say I don't want to lose you
When you meet an Angel
You intimidated

Don't you know?
The return is a gift
Don't you know?
The intimidation is confusion
Don't you you know?
You have met fallen Angel

Words and Melody

"Its never been easy for me to find words to go along with a melody"

It is always never been easy for anything. Life isn't about getting it right but to be what you want to be. Maybe I am wrong for some people but I am no wrong for myself because at the end of the day, I return as myself.

It is not about how much it takes to sacrifice the ego

It is not about how much i do or spent for this

It is not about how much lie I have to listen

What have been said or done is past

It is about to look forward and see the future

Because love is about to give and to take

Because love is about to forgive and forget

Because love is about being stupid

And love shall erase the past

The question is all about

The End or The Beginning

But that's something on my mind...so please forgive those few brief awkward lines.